Moving on, albeit slowly

Admittedly, I took App's passing a lot harder than I expected. Hell, almost a month later I still get really upset and tear up if I think about it too hard. I was a total zombie for 2 days, and a shell for 2 weeks. I am glad I had Mia, though, because I don't know if I would have went back to horses right way otherwise. We won't even mention the time, 2 weeks later, that I looked to his shed to see where he was before I realized he wasn't there. #Veryverybadday It's been rough, y'all. Like, legit rough, way worse than I expected.

Mia cares not for stupid hooman shenanigans

What else has happened over the past 3 weeks? Mia was lame, now she is sound again. She jumped out of the arena when I was free lunging her, right over the 3'6" half door. I started riding again regularly, something I haven't been doing thanks to the depression issue. The barn had a fun show, so I wanted to make myself go to it. So I dressed up as a black unicorn. And, again, Mia is amazing. She took less than 5 minutes to decide my costume was NBD and didn't care ever again. All it took was about 6 treats. Yep.

First ride with costume, apx 45 seconds after getting on. #NoCares

The fun show was cool and was the first GOOD day I had had since putting App down. Baby steps. I rode Intro C and it was the hardest ride of my entire life! HA! The costume was so extremely hard to ride in, and visibility was basically non-existent, but we were successful and we won not only our costume class, but also high point for the show! The judge ended up being the one who took all of my motivation away at the last show, due to a last minute schedule issue as someone else was supposed to be there. For the costume class, though, she absolutely loved Mia's #NoCares attitude and gave us a 9 for submission. HA!!!!! We ended with a 71.25%! The funny part was the bottom, 6.5 for rider position. LOL! Unicorn LEANS a lot! Geometry, yeah, no joke we needed work on shape of circle, I couldn't see ANYTHING and thought our chances were 50/50 she would just jump out! HAHAHA!

Our second ride was the USEA Training test and it went actually really well! For the very first time, I asked for all of my transitions and didn't blank out during the ride. #WIN That was what I have been hoping to do, fix my brain and I HOPE that I have done that finally. The ride was fairly uneventful, but the judge came down on us super hard again. She didn't like the canter lengthenings, she didn't like the trot work again, said we were just running, Mia's haunches are in, blah blah blah. I don't really care about her opinion though, I didn't ride for her. I rode for ME. I rode to fix my brain and I did. I am really happy about the ride.

This little section makes me laugh so hard! 

My big takeaway, however, is that I absolutely have to focus on Mia's haunches now. We have fixed so much training wise, her haunches are now the next big thing. She will travel haunches in, both directions, while free in a pasture and while free lunging, so I know it isn't a saddle/rider issue. Last week started Operation Haunches, and Mia does not appreciate the new mission lol.

Totally done with the rider's stupid antics

I now have slightly longer spurs (1.5" vs .5") and am riding with a whip, as when I apply my leg I am expecting her to MOVE. I've had 3 training rides and while they are rough rides, we are making progress. Mia is now moving her haunches and I can actually feel her haunches move. The movement is very telling, showing me just how much she has faked it for these 6 years. I can get her to move her haunches in the canter for only a stride or two, but that's fine. We have to build new muscle and balance. The fact we now have actual haunch movement is the win. Onward and upwards, right?

Does not appreciate Operation: Responsible For Our Own Haunches And They Belong Behind Us

I am gone almost every weekend between now and December. I want to try a hunter show on Nov 2, because it is super close to my barn. We didn't get fit enough to do another HT for the year, which really bums me out. There's always next year though, right?