Thursday, July 19, 2012

24 hours to go

I am getting ready for surgery tomorrow, trying to get the house picked up and things prepared.  My grandmother is coming in to "take care of things" while I am down, she may be 70 but she insists she can (and does) work like a 40 year old.  She will help take care of the animals for at least two weeks.  If I am not capable after 2 weeks then something must be wrong right?

I am trying really hard not to think about the surgery as it gets me extremely anxious.  I may be able to handle needles and give shots but I am very needle phobic.  It is about my only phobia but it is a good one.  When I had surgery last time they had to give me 3 tranquilizers.  One to "take the edge off" when I got there, another after they hooked me up because I was still anxious and the "big one" when talking to the anesthesiologist because he told me they were doing a nerve block (no big deal) and they were going to stick a needle in my groin (VERY big deal!).  I only remember nurses telling me to calm down, calm down now, then heard "give it to her" and then don't remember anything until I woke up and was fighting to get out of bed as I didn't realize time had passed.  I guess I talked to SO and the Dr and chatted with nurses but I don't remember a thing.

I am doing a pretty good job of distracting myself from the thought of surgery, keeping busy is doing most of it.  As long as my body and mind stay active I can't think about things.  I am sure things will be fine but it doesn't matter, I am still nervous about it.  Nervous about how the recovery will go, will the critters be fine, how will I get up and down the stairs as the bedroom/shower is upstairs and everything else is downstairs, will I be in a drug induced haze like I was last time?

I will give an update after surgery sometime and share how it went.  I have stayed upbeat leading up to surgery so I hope I stay that way afterwards.  Looking forward to riding again, let's see how fast I can do that.

1 comment:

  1. I'm the EXACT same way! Only mine isn't just specifically needles (in fact I can now get my blood drawn no big deal, but it's a tiny butterfly needle and I keep my eyes closed), it's hospitals in general! Even if I'm there with someone else and I'm completely fine and healthy I will just about pass out. *shudder*